Are You About to be Dumped?
12 sure fire signs that the end is near.
Getting dumped -- it happens to the best of us and nothing feels worse. Losing love is hard enough but add rejection to the mix and it can be devastating. When you've been dumped it feels like your world is closing in to smother you and you wonder if you will ever feel happy again. The good news is "yes" one day you will feel happy again, you will love again and the loss will become nothing more than a life experience. But when you are in the middle of it, caught in those end days of a once blossoming relationship, it can feel like the confusion will never end. Relationships don't just end. It doesn't play that one day you are part of a happy couple floating around blissopolis only to find that the next day you are flying solo and moving in to dumps ville. Like it or not you can always see a break up coming. There are always clues. When we sense a looming break up we often retreat in to denial and this is why actually being dumped seems like such a shock. But the reality is that anybody who is willing to look can see the writing on the wall long before the relationship actually ends. What kind of things signal that the relationship is coming to a close? Here are the 12 most common signs that the end is near.
- S/he is suddenly busy all the time, and never seems to have time to spend with you. When you find yourself becoming less and less of a time priority, even if the reasons for the distance seem logical, it is never a good thing.
- You find that only your fingers do any walking. If you are the only one who ever picks up the phone, especially if the phone calling used to be split pretty equally, break up bells should start ringing.
- When you call, more often than not you are asked to leave a message. Be it a parent, sib or friend, if somebody else always seems to answer the phone and take a message you are probably being screened, and we don't screen people we want to talk to!
- S/he says s/he is one place but is really another. People do not tend to lie for no reason, if s/he is not being honest about where s/he is or who s/he is with there is rarely a noble reason for the deception.
- You don't seem to connect anymore. Remember how when you were first getting together you would run into each other in unexpected places, like between classes or at the mall? If these "accidental" meetings become less common place it may be no accident at all.
- Her/his friends seem distant. When somebody wants out of a relationship they often let their friends in on the secret well ahead of time. If your steady's friends seem less friendly it is a good indicator that they know something you don't and that it probably isn't good.
- The lovin' is gone! When affection and PDAs (public displays of affection) start to dwindle it could mean the fire of love is also going out.
- S/he starts introducing you to new people as "a friend". If s/he is calling you a friend that is all s/he sees you as -- bottom line.
- You seem to be fighting a lot about little things. Lots of little fights often mean much bigger things are really at issue.
- Kissing and telling. Respect is a relationship essential, once it has been compromised the relationship often follows suit.
- You just can't seem to do ANYTHING right. Be it the style of your hair or the way you walk, if your steady suddenly finds fault with everything you do s/he is probably trying to push you away.
- You aviod any conversation that begins with "we have to talk" or "I don't know how to say this." If your steady is using these opening lines a break up speech usually follows. If you are avoiding conversations that start like this it is probably because you sense that a break up is near and think that if you avoid the talk it won't happen. You are wrong. If a person wants out of a relationship they will get out whether you let them tell you or not. Avoiding this talk is just prolonging the inevitable.
Mr. Right? Miss Perfect?
12 signs that your crush may be the one
Like leprechauns and unicorns the search for true love can seem like a fantasy that will never come true, but rest assured, you will find "the one" one day. In fact, as you head down the path of life you are likely to find a few "the ones", that is you are likely to fall in love more than once. How can you tell the difference between love-right-now and the-right-and-true-love? You can't really. Each and every time you fall in love it will feel like the real and final deal and it will be true. Every relationship will have something important to offer you and none, no matter how painfully they may end, will be a waste of your time. Each relationship will teach you a valuable lesson about yourself, your capacity to love, and what you are looking for (and not looking for) in a partner. So how can you tell if the person you are with is worthy of your "true love"? How can you know when a crush has moved beyond lust and in to the realm of love? Here are some sure fire signs that your affair of the heart has reached true love status:
- You can't help but smile when you see her/him and s/he is always smiling back.
- You feel comfortable and secure in the relationship and really trust your partner not to hurt you; ie, there is no need for jealousy or suspicion.
- There have been good times and bad times and through, or in spite of, them all you have remained together.
- There are no major dramas in the relationship; ie, you do not test one anothers love, engage in relationship foiling gossip or feel the need to play games.
- You each do kind and thoughtful things for the other "just because" and doing them makes both people feel good.
- Outside pressures are few and far between; there are none or only minor issues with peers, friends, family and teachers.
- There is no violence in the relationship at all -- NONE!
- You enhance one another, neither one of you presses the other to do things that may lead to harm or that the other is opposed to doing.
- The things that make you different do not push you apart; ie, different religions, cultural backgrounds or personal beliefs.
- There is no sacrifice, only compromise.
- Sex or no sex: it doesn't matter, either way it isn't an issue and nobody has been pressured to do something they weren't ready to do.
- You know that everything you feel is returned in kind by your partner.
